Sunday, November 24, 2013

Related by Chance, Family by Choice Book Review

If you are married and have a Mother-in-Law or you have a Daughter-in-Law, you might want to read this interesting book called Related by Chance, Family by Choice written by Deb DeArmond.
Transforming Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Relationships. What does it take to create true family unity between moms and the women who marry their sons? 
The caricatures are everywhere, the jokes are inexhaustible, and the stereotypes fill the screens. From Marie Barone (Everyone Loves Raymond) to Viola Fields (Monster-in-Law) to Internet sites and social media pages like and a Facebook page for ihatemymotherinlaw there is no shortage of examples of the caustic relationships that can develop between the two women in a man’s life. 
Deb DeArmond and her three daughters-in-law have conducted their own exhaustive research into the status of the women-in-law relationship. Their research, which incorporated online surveys, interviews, and discussions, included asking about the faith factor in the relationships they studied. Of the respondents, nearly 90 percent claimed they were Christians, and 79 percent said their faith was foundational and guided their actions and decisions. As discouraging as it may be, the numbers of those they surveyed who reported that their women-in-law relationships were “bad” were nearly identical to those in a survey conducted by a popular secular website that recorded no statistics on faith. 
Beyond the statistics and their analysis, Deb brings to this book more than thirty years working with adults to improve communications and deal constructively with conflict. Aside from her research and her professional expertise, perhaps the most important asset Deb brings to this work is her own relationship with her three daughters-in-law that is so obviously and unusually positive that she—and they—are often asked to explain the secret of the relationships they share. 
This practical and unapologetically scriptural book covers issues of personal perceptions, strained communication, the roles of sons and fathers in the relationship’s success, how to begin these relationships on the right foot, and the necessity of trust and love. Deb’s one motivating objective is to help women-in-law move from women who are simply related to strong and confident members of a truly spiritual family.
My Thoughts:

This book actually had a lot of good advice for both daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws. It is a self help book to help you navigate the waters, especially if the son happens to be an only child or the youngest. I myself have been in one of those situations and it can be tricky because there isn't other women around to take some of the pressure off of you. You are it! The only one and it's got to work or you risk losing the man you love.

It is a self help type of book, so if you aren't into those, you may not get this kind of book. But, if you are someone who loves to read self help type of books, this is a really good one, well thought out, and proven techniques that will help you in the long run with your marriage and your mother-in-law.

Happy Reading!