Tuesday, September 11, 2012

When A Woman You Love Was Abused Book Review

I am still always sickened by books that I read that involve child abuse but I know that it has to be talked about so that perhaps one day, we won't have so many of these incidents come up. It is important for the victims to come forward and get justice! I have never had that problem, so I can't even begin to know what it is like, but I hope that if it had happened, that I would be strong enough to tell someone. When A Woman You Love Was Abused written by Dawn Scott Jones is a book that everyone needs to read in order to even begin to comprehend what it is like. Here is an excerpt:
Your wife hurts because someone sexually molested her; you hurt because you love her and sense her heartache. How do you help?

In When a Woman You Love Was Abused, author, pastor, and survivor Dawn Scott Jones candidly shares from her own abuse experience to help you understand the thoughts and fears that hold your wife captive, the stages of her healing process, and what you can do to play an active role in helping your wife thrive despite her past abuse.

The journey is difficult. It's maddening, it's exhausting. And it's arduous. But you'll find reward and fulfillment as you experience the beautiful transformation together.
My Thoughts:

The assumption that most people make, is that there should be a certain date or time frame when it is over. There is no magical date that anyone can give you. Each woman is different as night and day, so how can a date help anyone? It will take as long as it takes. And the spouse needs to know that. It will happen, given time, just don't push it or you could make things worse.

In Dawn's story she is married over 27 years to the same man and I guess somewhere along the way, the abuse became a problem and instead of them both speaking about it and trying to resolve it, it looks like they both shut down. And of course, in the end, they did get divorced, which in itself was sad because after 27 years, it should have been the easiest thing to do. After all, they knew each other a long time. I am not sure if they were best friends, I did not get a grasp of that but it seemed like they or he took the easy way out.

Later on in the book, you discover that he did go to a sex therapist to try and understand but evidently it did not help. He says the walls between them were too rigid, he could not break through and ultimately, could not continue to go on like this. So, they divorced and it was after they divorced that they finally asked each other the really important questions that they had in their minds and finally got some answers.

At the end of the book, I can tell you that she meets another man and gets married again. She does talk alot about God and how he helped her and one day she describes it as feeling a breeze. It set her free and she met Paul and within 20 months, they were married. She feels like he is her soulmate, the one she has looked for all her life. I am glad she finally made peace, I am just sorry it took so long to come to grips with it all.

I hope her book and story can help other women who are suffering so that they don't have to wait over 25 years to get better. Good Luck to Dawn and to all of you out there that need it the most!

In coordination with the launch of their fall releases, Kregel will be hosting a live webcast event on September 20 at 8 PM EDT featuring authors Kim Ketola (Cradle My Heart), Teske Drake (Hope for Today, Promises for Tomorrow), and Dawn Scott Jones (When a Woman You Love Was Abused). The webcast will allow women to come together to share their struggles and fears in order to move toward healing and hope. Women will able to support one another and discuss shared experiences in a non-threatening, open and loving environment.

Cat Hoort of Kregel says, ""We are seeking to provide safe means for Christian women to be vulnerable with each other, to seek help and guidance from authors and counselors, and to find encouragement from those who have shared similar experiences. Our hope is that the Women Redeemed webcast will become a forum for hurting women as well as for those who can help. Kim, Teske, and Dawn are all survivors and their stories will surely inspire and equip other women to move toward healing and hope."

Disclaimer: Mary Bearden personally reviewed these products. I did not receive any monetary compensation for my review, just a sample product. All opinions are mine and belong to me solely. My thoughts and opinions may differ from yours.


June M. said...

This sounds like a good book, but I wonder how much it will actually help because each woman who was abused is different. They will have different triggers and different ways to cope (whether positive ways or negative). I would think the just talking and providing support, encouraging her to express herself would be great ways to help.